OK, so this is life, you are born, raised by your family, some single, some extended and some, the whole community. You are brought up, until the point where you are released into the world and this same world starts teaching you certain things that maybe your mother or your aunties were not brave enough to teach you. Well, that is for the ones who do not have a dad around to tell their little girls about the world’s not so merry-go-round. Or for those that their moms are too busy trying to make ends meet that they lack time to advice their daughters. But for some, it’s not that they don’t have that sufficient time, they just lay back and fail to teach their children important values and principles, and in this, they just wait for the world to teach them.
Like it is said on the last ever series of friends ‘The Last One’, I could identify with “The one where she lays back”, or maybe it is “The one where we both live our separate lives”. Two categories? Wow, that is a plus. I say this because, dear mothers who lay back probably assume that as their children grow up, they shall become wiser and learn about the strife and storms of life. Or better still, when they live separate lives, it is because the parent-child relationship is not so close, because from a child’s young age, they have always seen each other maybe after he or she comes back from school in the evening or after the parent comes back from work. This makes it like a 1 way street. You never catch up with each other, or walk side to side. Never spend time together to enhance the bond or just to talk just in general.
This doesn’t mean these mothers love their children any less, it just means that their own mothers did not pass on the same morals to them so in turn, they felt like they have nothing offer to their kids. I do not hold anything against the mothers, or the fathers who were never there for their children and as much as it rings in my head almost everyday, I would advice anyone in this situation to try not to make it their driving force in life’s challenges. In fact, it should be a motivator and a lesson learnt, to better themselves as they grow up to be mature adults and to make a difference with their children.
You see I love my mother and grandmother very much. But sometimes I just wish that there were some things that they could have taught me as I was growing up. Things that I can proudly be able to pass on to my children in the future and start the sentence with “My mother once told me” or “Your grandmother taught me this when I was a little girl”. When i say things, i do not just mean the basic how to be happy or who to be happy with lessons, I mean the inmost, underlying ancestral traditions and what they stand for in our community. But then again, maybe they weren’t taught either like I said earlier on.
But believe it or not, if there is one thing that I have learnt from my mother, it is that no matter what your mission in life is, you should always work hard for it and most of all, never forget where you come from, because everywhere you go, tradition is different. And if you lose sight of who you are, who you were brought up as, then what tradition will you give your children? I guess one time in the years to comes i will at least be able to tell my daughter or my son the value of working hard taught by their grandmother, although it wasnt in a ” come sit down let’s have a chat” way, but as a by the way, or in the middle of a lecture for doing wrong.
It doesn’t matter whether we speak a different language from our parents, or whether we can speak the language but not fluently. I believe tradition emerges from the heart rather than what you speak. It is the overall morals of life, what you believe in, how you do things, how you carry yourself out, how you handle the storms in your life and the happy times too. Tradition is you. Most of all, Who brought us in this world and has been taking care of us and giving us the driving force to move forward even when life gets tough, giving us hope, blessing us, guiding us. God, is our tradition.
So even if I feel that I came from a not so close family, that meets up 3 times a year to have a family barbecue, or to celebrate Christmas or Easter together, I can still say that love was transcended and through the model of family it has been, I have been able to pick on the positives as well as the negatives and I know I will carry on fine with my children in the near future.
FAMILY plays a big part in molding our upbringing and the values we hold, especially in unconditional love. There’s a life quote that says that all relationships such Friend, Boyfriend, Girlfriend, all have an E.N.D at the end…but family has an I.L.Y meaning I love you. That is somewhat true. But even with that said, if we are not fortunate enough to be in the picture perfect kind of family, we shouldn’t lose our values and morals of a human being. We should still hold our ground and know how our response and reactions affect different people around us. As the world revolves and time passes by, we shall eventually form our own families, so we should have something positive to give them that they can pass on to the next generations.